How Do We Deal with Anger?

The Lord has been prompting me as of late to address how I handle my anger. The Lord has pointed out to me that I need to stop making excuses as to how or why I handle something a certain way, and to simply work on looking more like Jesus every day.

I am working on having consistent responses with my children. It should not matter how I am feeling in the moment, or any outside pressures there may be. I need to make sure that I am consistently responding in love, not reacting in anger. My discipline, if necessary, should also be based on the offence and not my feelings. Discipline should come from a place of love; I love my child and I want the best from them, I want them to follow the Lord. “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6. After all, my Father in heaven is very patient with me, even when I don’t deserve it. Pastor Tim (our pastor at Calvary Chapel of Richmond) has really been pressing in this year, “consistency = maturity.”

“Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” Colossians 3:21

I have also noticed that much of my anger stems from seeing my personal weaknesses in my children. I don’t want my children to struggle with the same things I do. Then I remember what Todd Friel says on his show, “The rotten apple doesn’t fall far from the rotten tree.” Which leads me back to what Jesus has been pointing out to me. Every choice I make not only effects my children, it effects every generation in my line to come. This is only possible through Jesus.

I actually find it easier to deal with my anger and apologize when it comes to my children. I have a harder time when it comes to my husband. I have some unhealthy habits that I have declared war on that include giving my husband the silent treatment, avoidance, letting an issue fester and build up for a long period of time, and lashing out. All of which are both petty and childish. To combat these bad habits, I have been working on taking every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5), and breaking my cyclical negative thought patterns. I am learning to give my spouse the benefit of the doubt, like I do other people. I truly believe that my husband would never do anything on purpose to hurt me. I also struggle with the me vs. him mentality whenever we have a disagreement. My husband and I are NOT enemies, we are a team. Satan will try to convince me otherwise. Any weakness I have, Satan will try to exploit because he knows he can not win in a head on battle. We may have some different ways of doing things, but we are both being conformed daily to the image of Jesus, and while there is an individual walk, our walk on this earth will always be together. I am also starting to look at my husband as a brother in Christ, inheriting the Kingdom of God alongside me.

None of these things are easy to change, and I am relying on the Holy Spirit because I can’t do it by myself. I want to claim victory in this area of my life. When I struggle I am going to the Lord in prayer, and meditating on his word “In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,” Ephesians 4:26 and then James 1:19 “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;”